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Your Write-In Campaign For Loser Star Unnecessary
By Smaktakula One of the great surprises in television this year was the write-in campaign for Betty White to host Saturday Night Live. As the last surviving Golden Girl, the honor was certainly due...
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Underage Hitman Is Idol Of Boys Worldwide
By Smaktakula Most young boys dream of growing up to do great things: being a starship captain, secret agent or superhero. In Mexico, one pubescent boy did more than just dream; laughing in the face...
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Lohan: The Time To Hit That Is Now
By Smaktakula Former child star Lindsay Lohan revealed recently in an international statement that she was not currently in a relationship, declaring “I’m available.” Men and women between the ages of...
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Hef’s Former Skank Calls Him “Dead Fish”
By Smaktakula Hot, Retarded And Completely Lacking Dignity?--Yes. Discrete? No. According to his former floozy Izabella St. James, Hugh Hefner doesn’t just look, smell and act like an incontinent old...
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Drive Safely When There’s Coke In The Trunk, Kids
By Smaktakula He's Right To Look Dejected: The Man's A Fucking Idiot. On June 10th, 2011, a perfect storm of stupidity caught luckless moron Shawn Smith in its pitiless grasp. Smith’s troubles began...
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True Facts:ThunderCats
By Smaktakula "Lion-OYouJustDon'tGetItMan!Mumm-Ra'sWatchingUsRightNowMan.AlwaysWatching! HeyWho'sGonnaGiveSnarfALittleBump?" The ThunderCats‘ grating mascot, Snarf, had a coke habit like you wouldn’t...
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Meth For Dummies/Crack In The Cracks
By Smaktakula Legal Or Illegal: America Loves Its Drugs. Although potentially-legalized marijuana is the greatest crisis facing contemporary society, it is by no means the only drug insidiously...
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The Elderly Are Right About One Thing At Least: Kids Today Have It Too Damn Easy
By Smaktakula The Old Days Sucked. The Only Two Pleasures In Og's Wretched Existence Were Warm Bearcat Stew And, Apparently, Humping A Bag Lady. One of the universal cornerstones of adulthood is the...
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Headlines 08.16.12
By Smaktakula If We Can No Longer Trust The Krauts To Be Racially Sensitive, What Hope Is Left? In which we opine on the day’s headlines without first reading the stories. *** Amelia Earhart: Better...
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Headlines: In Fact, Yes We Did
By Smaktakula “Yes, Bonnie–Mr. Clinton Is Aware Of Your Article. But The Former President Is A Very Busy Man, And We All Think It’s Best If Maybe You Don’t Call Any More.” In which we comment on the...
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